Category Archives: Funny Articles

Dear CSUSM Students, The spark notes of Title IX anti discrimination policy states: “No person…shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any edu cation program … Continue reading →

Hey Cougs, I know it’s been too long since I last wrote, and I know this sounds cheesy, but I’ve been super busy.  In the wake of our first issue of the year, a certain Dr. Greg “Don’t Ask Me … Continue reading →

Remember those fantasies of Homecoming you had back in high school? Imagining what it would be like to have a “lezzed-out” homecoming court. Wishing that the Jock who won the title of King were actually an exotic and stunning babe … Continue reading →

Although PETA works hard to break down the current system of violence and oppression forced upon our animal brothers, they completely ignore the rights of the rest of the environment. Basing something’s worth on sentience is a horrible error. Everything … Continue reading →

by Patrick Wrath, Koala Correspondent Since the dawn of time primitive man has understood that seeing his buddy get punted for a mile by a woolly mammoth was funny. Watching other people getting hurt is in all likelihood (and I’m … Continue reading →

All guys masturbate, some will admit it, and a few will do it for you if you ask them to. But as much as we all love to masturbate, sometimes you need a change. So here are a few options … Continue reading →

There’s a flower that grows here in San Marcos, in fact, it’s all over San Diego. It’s called Datura. See the picture at the end of the article? Coincidentally, this flower looks exactly like that one. A lot of people … Continue reading →

Have you ever wanted to do crazy jumps and flips off of structures on campus? What about handstands on the top floor of Craven Hall? Well professional Red Bull athlete Ryan Doyle answered yes to all of the above when … Continue reading →

A few weeks ago, I was brushing up on my knowledge about retards. Someone has to, and it’s obviously not going to be them. I navigated over to the Wiki page on Down Syndrome. I wanted some info about the characteristic … Continue reading →

Good Moooorning San Marcos! This being our first issue, not to mention it being the very prestigious Eddie Bauer Collectors’ Edition and one day 20 years from now destined to be worth millions, it is a great time to explain … Continue reading →

Dear Editor, Umm, your publication is lame. If you are going for satire, you fail. Rape is never funny. And your stuff is pretty juvenile. Even my ten year old boys don’t think it’s funny. My advice: see http://www.theonion.com and … Continue reading →

A lot of people have accused us of being angry. Obviously, I’d like to punch those people in their fat fucking faces. But it made me realize that maybe I am a little angry. Why is that? And then it … Continue reading →

Valentine’s day, the apparent holiday of love, is more like a sick excuse to suck our wallets dry, as if we didn’t splurge on cheap pointless merchandise already. Most people buy their lovers candy, stuffed animals, or flowers. For instance, … Continue reading →

THE FRESHMAN FIFTEEN Here lies the Koala’s guide to freshman year. I. ALCOHOL CAN BE USED FOR REMOVING GUM, STICKERS, AND WOMEN’S PANTS. II.GUYS: FORGET YOUR HIGHSCHOOL GIRLFRIENDS. THE GIRL TO GUY RATIO IS 65:35. 65:35!!!!! III.GIRLS: IT’S TIME TO … Continue reading →